My Birth Story

I didn't really know what to expect birth to be like. I had read books, taken a class, watched videos, and talked to other mamas, but when it came to my turn I was nervous as ever.

We checked into the hospital at 6 am on January 15th. I had a scheduled c-section because baby Van was breech. I have a uterine anomaly that makes my uterus half the size of a normal one, so he had no room to flip around. Knowing this made my birth plan a little bit easier, but none the less hard. When we got to the hospital I changed into my robe, Drew in his scrubs. Once we were dressed it came time to operate!

The doctors rolled me into the cold and bright surgery room. They had me sit up on the operating table and lean forward. I clenched the pillow tight and squeezed my eyes shut, trying to go to my happy place- a place where I was free. I pictured myself skiing with my sisters on a good snow day and sitting on my surf board along side them watching the sun set over the ocean. Somehow thinking of them helped me get through the scary part alone.

Finally Drew came in and my lower body was numb. The doctors made small talk while slicing me open and I turned to Drew for comfort. He looked just as scared as me (not helpful). I felt some tugging and pulling and then with one big push my belly emptied and out came the most beautiful baby I have ever seen. It seemed like the longest 45 minutes of my life, but the hard part was over.

The first moment I saw baby Van my heart was exploding and tears rolled down my cheeks. I had never felt a love like this. He was the most amazing thing I had ever seen. The first thing we noticed about him were his long fingers and long toes. He came out like a bear waking from hibernation, with his arms stretched above his head and his hands clenched in tiny fists (see here). The slightest noise would startle him to unclench his tiny fists and spread his long fingers apart for all to see. Yep, he had all 10 fingers and 10 toes. I couldn't be happier.

After the surgery we were sent to the recovery room. I finally got to bond with my sweet baby boy. He was everything I imagined and more! A mini Drew. Blue eyes, button nose, dark hair- I was smitten. We named him Van Delano Hollenback. He measured 20" long and weighed 8 pounds 6 ounces. He was cute and chubby, and most importantly healthy.

We like to think Van will be a fun-loving sweet boy that will surf with daddy and give mama hugs and kisses forever. We can't wait to watch him grow and develop into his own little person. It's mind blowing to carry a baby inside you for nine months, and then finally get to meet him- your own devine creation. Wow.

There were several first moments I feel like I missed. I was in a lot of pain after the surgery and couldn't pick Van up or hardly get out of bed. The recovery is a whole different story, but to say the least it was the hardest thing I've ever done. Drew changed Van's first diaper. Drew held Van first. Drew helped with his first bath and he mastered the swaddle first. Even though I couldn't do these things myself, I lovingly watched from afar and couldn't be more pleased. Fatherhood never looked so good. 

After three days in the hospital I was carefully back on my feet and Van was ready to go home. I was sad to leave my daily milk shakes I'll be honest, but it was time. If there's one thing we learned from having a baby; it's nothing else matters- at least not really.

Life is full of moments. The most memorable moments are the life changing ones- like putting your baby in a car seat for the first time. It's in these moments you realize nothing else matters. Family is most important and somehow everything else falls into place. I can't wait to see what moments lie ahead that will make my life just that more rich.

>> Thank you all for your love and support during my recovery. You know who you are!
>> See more pictures of baby Van here and follow me on Instagram @meggieslove