It Happens

Let me start off by telling you how much I love my husband. Then let me remind you we are not as ideal as we may look to you on the outside. I am a realist and Drew is an optimist. We balance each other out perfectly and get along 99% of the time because we are the best of friends.

But, the other day we got in a fight. Of course over something stupid and small. Still, it started out with both of us mad, then eventually turned into me yelling and Drew speaking calmly. He is so good at making sure, when disagreements do happen, that we both aren't losing it. Anyway, I hate arguing and it rarely happens with us. But mid argument Drew was encouraging me to let it all out. So I did and it ended in a banging headache and lots of crying.

I felt bad for the way I acted. So did he. So after an awkward car ride that went from chaos to silence we stopped to talk about it, which is honestly the last thing I wanted to do. We learned a lot from this particular argument.

One, it is normal to have disagreements. We are two minds with different opinions! If we never disagreed then perhaps one person in the relationship is too accommodating or one is too controlling.

Two, we learned that moods are like light switches. Only difference between me and Drew is his can go up and down and mine can only go one way, usually down. Drew has learned to adapt very well and knows when a situation needs to be turned on or off. Unfortunately I can't seem to master this skill and once my mood switches I need time to turn back on. I'm more like the kind of light switch that dims from dark to brightest, as logical as it sounds I can't do a mood 180 like Drew can. It's important to know this about your partner so when arguments do come, you don't find yourself trying to change how the other reacts but rather learn how to best deal with their personality or temperament. Think about it this way, it's worth fighting for a fight worth fighting. Maybe that made better sense in my head. I know we can all make personal improvements, but criticism can be debilitating and discouraging.

Three, after an argument you realize how much you love your spouse and want to get along rather than fight, because honestly it's just easier. So, you kiss and make up and walk away hopefully a little wiser for next time. That's how life goes.

No relationship is perfect, but they're definitely worth it.